Dec 302012
 

Wolter Seuntjens

Dutch Academy of ’Pataphysics, Amsterdam

JUnQ, 3, 1, Open Questions, 9-12, 2013 (Received 25.11.2012, accepted 6.12.2012, published online 30.12.2012)

Masturbation is often accompanied by fantasizing. Anecdotal evidence suggests that at least some people cannot fantasize about the person they are in love with while they masturbate. This putative phenomenon, the Masturbation Fantasy Paradox (MFP), may be a particular case of a more general principle put forward by Sigmund Freud in 1912.

Read more: The Masturbation Fantasy Paradox: An Overlooked Phenomenon?

  3 Responses to “The Masturbation Fantasy Paradox: An Overlooked Phenomenon?”

  1. Maybe. But I mostly fantasize about my wife when I am masturbating. And not imagining her doing things she would not normally do.

  2. Entertaining the Impossible Today

    It was Miguel Unamuno who expressed a thought like : “I speak about myself, because I am the human being I have closest at hand”. So, for the sake of the joy of discovery and as a reference of respect to the work of the author of the article, I answer here, just after reading the article for first time. Sometimes first impulse is best, otherwise it would never happen. In the innocence of a not-informed about this paper person and not knowing about this MF phenomenon I wrote a few times about this in the not so distant past in more private conversation from different perspectives. So, this article offers an entertaining and comprehensive historical insight into one of humanity?s big topics and a wonderful Klimt tender brushblush scetch of a woman, tender and a sweet secret, allowing us in to peep, enjoying how she neither rushes or runs away nor overapologizesis and hesitantly covers herself up.

    So, to answer the questions posed, probably when you associate masturbation with something bad, one would not fantasize with a beloved one.
    In my case, I find the inner feeling about the act of masturbation has changed and matured over the years, readily leaving behind all the guilt stored exactly there. So, the perspective and experience of masturbation has become by inner knowing a way to clear those guilts and perhaps also trauma out by physically massaging and same time pampering and teasing the mind with tender atttention to one?s own body exploring the limits and going beyond, by this act increasing one?s own love-ability in the wonderful anticipation of a meeting that has not yet taken place. And in this instance, particularly with someone, who one wishes to be with in the future. Then, this act is a wonderful, empowering anticipation and exploration of this desirable situation which is in that present moment physically impossible: to be pleased or deeply physically united with the one one is in love with.

    And the wonderful paradox now becomes that by imagining it and making blissful use of the non-discerning mind – the impossible is becoming a possibility, it is manifesting as the feeling of it is happening with every breath being taken in and expressed – to such an extent that deep loving and enticing feelings are actually experienced and felt physically in the present moment, so the fantasy is becoming a body reality, and the lucid impossible is drawn into the splendour of posssible.

    This is also proven by the fact, that the space is held entirely with this particular person and any slight comparative play with former experiences is dismissed very fast as it is this that is experienced as not possible now, anymore – showing, that one is ready for a new relationship on all levels, deeply wishing to be faithful to the beloved one also in the fantasy, making it a natural experience not some I have to give up – thing. How is this for you, guys?

    In this desire to honour the person in question, I see a parallel to what was described by Neil Murray in his comment on Feb 25, 2013: “Maybe. But I mostly fantasize about my wife when I am masturbating. And not imagining her doing things she would not normally do.”

    It was very gratifying to hear between these two points in my lifetime experience – masturbation in puberty and now recently- from a female aquaintant who happened to be a yoni-lingam massage specialist /female and male sexual organs in Sanskrit respectively/ and an Indian knowledgable in the area of the Hindu concept of “sacred union” how the Hindu tradition actually honours these body parts and devote temples to them. Dedicated readers will find extensive material on the healing potential for the entire body system as , e.g., all seven mayor chakra centres of the physical body are represented in the penis. And this is just the tip of the loveberg as deeply sensed and practiced sexuality is seen as a gateway to self-realisation – involvo?ng greater mental power and achievement, to say the least. Getting in touch with one?s own inner potential and the potential of another leads to a sense of freedom that would also kindle peaceful thriving free communities of people, centered and fullfilled in themselves and sharing and gifting themselves to the other in monogamy and other concepts creating ripple effects in their communiy and everybody?s lives they touch.

    So, what would Sigmund Freud and Gottfried Benn say today after listening to the very recent interviews /this week/ in the “Art of Love” series”. Referent Michael Beckwith and his wife as well as Dr. John Gray, author of the famous /new to me now/ book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” express the idea that a relationship that involves all parametres of the spectrum thrives exactly out of the awesome experience that the couple is still capable of and actually becoming more and more masterful in the art of being in love with another. In my own words, they experience blissful stages and body-home-made ecstasy together precisely through getting to know each other as such an act of love is always and evermore skydiving into the next impossible froma ever expanding and uplifting body base of possible. and evolving together.
    Knowing that to receive more love all we have to do is to give more love. Whatever is missing is what we are not giving. So let?s celebrate love in all its aspects and more love shall come.

  3. PS: Please see how the quotes cited of Nancy Friday are also held in mind and responded to indirectly in my comment above.

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